My Last Breath
by Lady Athena Lionfire
Summary: DG songfic, from a song by Evanescence. Rated PG13 for violence and the occasional swear word. The title is deceptive.


_My Last Breath_

A Fanfiction by Athena Lionfire (16)

Harry Potter is the brain child of JK Rowling, the song My Last Breath is owned by Evanescence, any attempts to sue would only end in you looking foolish. (Thanks)

Authors Note: I know I have quite a few fics to finish, but this is the first time I've felt like writing in a long time.

I want to dedicate this fic to my boyfriend Shane, who despite not liking Harry Potter respects my insane worship of the books.

A Draco/Ginny one shot story set in Draco's final year of Hogwarts.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

_hold on to me love  
you know I can't stay long  
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
can you hear me?  
can you feel me in your arms?  
  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight  
  
_

It had been a long journey, a hard one as well, running until he could run no more, pumping his legs through thick snow, feeling his calves scream in agony as he pushed himself relentlessly. Faster, further, quicker, more, more, more….. 

But in the end, they'd caught up, he knew they would, as fast as he was, he knew they were faster, blasts of pure energy splintered trees and sent chunks of frozen earth into the air and a particularly large clod of earth hit him in the shoulder sending him reeling. Landing heavily in a snow drift he pushed himself to his knees, wiping the snow out of his eyes, he shivered and rubbed his bare fingers, knowing he was only delaying the inevitable……

"Draco, get up boy." Slowly pulling himself to his feet he turned around, running a shaking hand through his matted blonde hair,

"Yes father." Lucius Malfoy stood, his long blonde hair barely out of place, pointing his mahogany wand at Draco's head,

"I must say I didn't think you had it in you. Many a good man has fallen sooner than you." Nodding curtly Draco kept his mind carefully blank and stared at the man he called "_father_" he'd been running for two days straight, hiding in small caves and ditches, stealing food from people's kitchens; always remembering to leave money as compensation. Now here he was, his journey was over, now would begin the torment, all of this to become a Death Eater.

He didn't want it though, but he had to do it to keep her safe, she was his world and he would kill anybody who hurt her, even if it meant killing himself.

Nobody had ever suspected they were in love, nobody saw the sly glances, tender smiles or heart felt kisses, nobody cared enough about Draco to wonder why he was suddenly smiling, or who he was smiling at. Except Pansy, she saw it all and inwardly had smiled for the couple, many people believed she was in love with him, but their closeness came from years of playing witches and wizards in the expanse of grounds behind Malfoy Manor. 

_"I've known you since you had your hair in pigtails and lisped when you were upset." _Pansy was his closest friend, his confidante, he told her everything and she listened to everything offering advice when he needed it, but mostly offering a shoulder to cry on.

_"Malfoy's don't cry." _

_"Bullshit!" Pansy said hitting him over the head with a rolled up piece of parchment, "Malfoy's cry, you are as human as the rest of us." _

_"Father isn't." Pansy shook her head forcefully, "Well you aren't your father!"_

He knew she was right, his love had said the same thing, 

_"I don't love your father, but I do love you, so there you go, you can't be your father."_

_"Ginny, what if I have to do what he says, just to keep you safe."_

_"I'll always love you; I know you'll do the right thing."_

He hadn't known what to do, and the opportunity to do the right thing appeared just a few days later in the form of an owl from Dumbledore.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy,_

_   would you please join me in my office at 3.30, your teacher for that hour has been informed of your absence._

_Yours sincerely_

_Albus Dumbledore _

_Folding the note he slipped it in his pocket and glanced towards the teachers table where Dumbledore sat in his usual seat, as expected he was watching Draco, his blue eyes twinkling behind half moon spectacles. Staring directly at him he subtly nodded, so subtly that nobody would have even noticed, Pansy and Ginny saw it and unconsciously turned to face each other sending a silent question across the packed hall._

_Dumbledore had questioned Draco closely about his father's affairs, and surprisingly Draco answered everything in as much detail as he could manage, he told the listening headmaster of his fears for both Pansy and Ginny and his determination to keep them both safe._

_"Well Mr. Malfoy, it does seem that you have a very serious decision on your hands, I understand you have no desire to become a Death Eater, but the Order of the Phoenix is in need of spies, would you spy for us?" Sitting in the headmasters' office, surrounded by the pictures of headmasters long since dead, Draco weighed the pro's and con's of spying for the Order, finally he looked at Dumbledore and nodded,_

_"But only if you promise to keep Ginny and Pansy safe."_

"Come with me boy, the Dark Lord will wish to speak to you." Nodding Draco forced himself to keep his face expressionless and following Lucius he looked about for possible escape routes, but the memory of Ginny kissing him good bye and calling him "her brave sweetheart" made him harden his heart and trudge on relentlessly.

_  
I'll miss the winter  
a world of fragile things  
look for me in the white forest  
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears  
  
holding my last breath  
safe inside myself  
are all my thoughts of you  
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_

It was starting to snow again, thick fat flakes that clung to his eyelashes and hair, shaking his head he watched in amusement as his father continually swiped at his face, Lucius had never liked snow, or the cold for that matter. Walking through the blizzard Draco wondered what was to come, what torture was to come next, and if he would be man enough to prevent from screaming Ginny's name. Gritting his teeth he focused on what was ahead and tried to not think of what would happen if they realised his façade…..

Snape would help him though; he had always known that Snape wasn't 100% behind Voldemort, he had seen the subtle eye roll when Lucius had mentioned him in a Death Eater meeting some years earlier, now thanks to his affiliation with the Order he knew what many didn't, that Snape was innocent. It didn't mean he was any less of a bastard, it just meant he was an innocent bastard, and that was all that mattered at the end of the day.

_"Mr. Malfoy, a word if you please." Puzzled Draco had made his excuses to his school friends and followed Snape down several flights of stairs to his classroom, it was deserted and for a brief moment he wondered if Snape was going to blackmail him for his silence concerning the Order._

_"I understand you are to be joining me in my quest to rid the world of Voldemort?" Draco nodded and Snape did something unexpected, his cold expression faded and he pulled Draco into a brief yet meaningful hug._

_"I can't promise to watch out for you at all times, but I will tell you to be careful, Voldemort isn't as stupid as he looks, you have to be on guard at all times." _

Snape had given him a lot of information concerning his up coming initiation, including the worst bit of all, killing a muggle.

_"Don't think of it as a life, think of it as a sacrifice, one life is not worth the wizarding world being ruled by Voldemort."_

But the thought of killing still sent his blood running cold in his veins and for a long time he wondered if he could do it, a voice in the back of his mind whispered cruelly that he couldn't do it, wouldn't be able to, forcing it away, ignoring it and blocking all thoughts seemed to do the trick, but at night, visions of flashing daggers and terrified screams filled his dreams.

"Crucio" Screaming Draco dropped to his knees, his father stood a few feet in front of him impassively watching as his son writhed under the Unforgivable Curse, he had been performing the spell for the past three hours and Draco was still standing after each curse ended.

"You are weak, you cannot serve the Dark Lord, you will die, give up."

"No." Lucius sneered,

"What did you say?" Draco gritted his teeth against the pain and pictured Ginny in his mind, 

"NO!" 

"Finite Incantatum." Blessed relief from the pain. Sagging against the cold floor Draco lay breathing heavily, his mind was slowly becoming fuzzy and as it faded to black he felt a warmth come over him, he was being healed.

"Get up boy." Groggily getting to his feet he forced his chin up and stared at his father,

"So far you have impressed me with your endurance; maybe I had not been such a failure raising you after all."

"No sir." Lucius smirked and raised his wand,

"It is not over yet! Imperio!" His eyes open wide Draco silently prayed his father wouldn't ask about his loyalty. He felt an overpowering urge to tell all his deepest secrets and he felt his mouth open,

_No, I won't tell _It felt as if he'd been slammed into a wall and a trickle of blood escaped his nose,

_No, no, no, no _"_NO!_" The curse was broken and Lucius in a rare show of emotion hugged his son,

"I raised you correctly; you will serve the Dark Master and bring glory to the wizarding world." Numbly Draco wondered if he would still have to kill a muggle.

"Goyle, bring the girl in." A young girl about fourteen was dragged into the hall and almost instantly several Death Eaters apparated in and took seats, the girl was watching fearfully and shaking from head to foot, in the deepest recesses of his mind Draco realised he wouldn't be able to do it.

_Malfoy, don't worry, she'll be revived later; I shall make sure of that. _It was Snape, Draco hadn't realised the potions master could communicate via telepathy; not many wizards could, including Voldemort. A conversation with Ginny a few weeks before graduation floated to mind and he saw Snape smirk, apparently the Potions master could read minds too.

_"What? You're doing what?" Ginny's voice was heard quite clearly in the almost empty library and catching her hands Draco pulled her close,_

_"I have to, please Ginny, please understand that with my help this blasted war could finally be over, no more hiding, no more pretending we hate each other, no more watching Potter worry himself sick, I may not like the guy but even I can see he's going to kill himself with the stress." Ginny nodded and a few tears trickled down her rosy cheeks, now noticeably paler than before,_

_"Please be careful." Nodding Draco kissed her soundly and pulled her into a hug,_

_"Just be brave for me love, I'll come back, and the war will be over."_

The muggle girl was crying and despite the room swarming in Death Eaters Draco walked over to her and knelt down to her eye level,

"I promise you on my life you shall be fine." He murmured, the girl sniffed and looked at him fearfully,

"I want my mamma." Nodding Draco noticed how her hair was the same colour of Ginny's and for a moment he saw her chocolate brown eyes staring back at him,

"You'll see her soon." He promised, pulling his dagger out he thrust it in her side, it slid in easily only sticking as it snagged on rib. She gasped then sagged to the floor, almost immediately he was surrounded by Death Eaters congratulating him on the kill, as he was led out the room he saw Snape pick up the girl and carry her away,

"Snape where are you taking the muggle?" McNair asked with a sneer, Snape remained emotionless and he spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I am taking the body to be disposed of." Exiting the room Draco was taken to a side room where he would receive his robes and mask.

_  
  
closing your eyes to disappear  
you pray your dreams will leave you here  
but still you wake and know the truth  
no one's there  
  
say goodnight  
don't be afraid  
calling me calling me as you fade to black_

The dagger was stained with the blood of the muggle girl and slowly Draco wiped it on his robes and slid it back into his pocket, his new robes were black velvet and of the highest quality, and he had to wonder what tailor had joined the Death Eaters, it was unlikely they would just walk into Madame Malkin's and order a dozen or more black robes in varying sizes.

"Draco my son you have made me very proud, there is only one thing you have left to do, and I know you shall not fail. Go through that door and meet your fate." Shuddering Draco left his hood down and squaring his shoulders walked through the archway….

_"Merry Christmas Draco!" Ginny threw her arms around his neck and he swung her around then dropped her lightly to the floor, burying his face in her hair, she smelled of strawberries and honey._

_"Here, merry Christmas." Ginny squealed and tore into the brightly coloured box, paper flew everywhere and Draco laughed as a length of ribbon wrapped around her ear._

_"You're adorable. I love you." Ginny paused her eyes open wide,_

_"What?" Draco swallowed nervously,_

_"I love you." Her eyes filled with tears and she leant forwards gently kissing him on the lips._

_"I love you too."_

The hall was filled with Death Eaters, all hooded and masked and in the centre stood the Dark Master, Lord Voldemort, he was proudly, almost regally admiring his army of followers, like a king, Draco decided. As Draco entered the hall he turned his red gaze on him and for a moment Draco wondered if Voldemort could read minds, a gentle reassurance in the back of his mind gave him some comfort.

"Step forward Mr. Malfoy." Without express permission from his brain his legs automatically started to move forwards, step after step until he was standing facing Voldemort.

_"Draco heads up!" Turning round Draco was hit square in the face with a snowball, as snow trickled down his neck and back he just stood stunned and watched as Ginny collapsed on the ground laughing._

_"Your face is priceless." Chuckling Draco ran forward and scooped Ginny up, she wriggled as the cold snow stuck to her robe and pants began to melt,_

_"Put me down."_

_"I love you."_

_"Draco, put me down."_

_"Do you love me?" Ginny stared up at him her chocolate brown eyes wide,_

_"Yes." Grinning Draco spun around and threw her into a snow ditch where she lay shrieking._

"I have been very impressed with your dedication to the cause Mr. Malfoy." Despite Snape's gentle reassurances at the back of his mind Draco felt himself cringe and he watched as Voldemort smirked.

"Good, you are scared, it is never a good idea to become too complacent with your position in my army, you may be a Malfoy but you are still a low life in comparison to say Goyle over here." Goyle's huge form could be seen to be sniggering and Voldemort narrowed his snake eyes,

"AVADA KADAVRA!!" For a brief moment Draco forgot everything as a green flash filled the room, it took a second before he realised he wasn't dead.

"_I will not tolerate a weak link. Goyle was a weak link. Do not be like Goyle!_" Nodding Draco found he was too scared to do anything but stand and stare at his new master, everything about Voldemort screamed power, respect, danger, he loomed over his army of Death Eaters a terrifying figure of a man, bald with a nose that resembled a snakes' and the eyes. The glowing red eyes. Gritting his teeth Draco held his arm out and pushed back his sleeve.

_"You BASTARD I'll kill you!" Draco heard Ginny screaming as Ron dived on him, punching him as hard as he could, using Weasley's size as an advantage Draco pushed him off and kicked him as hard as he could in the ribs, he winced as there was a pop and Ron sagged to the floor._

_"Bloody hell Malfoy I think you've killed him."_

_"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Hermione was instantly at Ron's side, wand in hand casting spells which brought him from being deathly pale and silent to just mildly pale and groaning loudly._

_"He's not dead."_

_"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck."_

_"He's not dead." Not hearing the Gryffindor Head Girl Draco continued his horrified chant,_

_"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Her patience wearing thin Hermione stood up, stomped over to Draco and punched him as hard as she could, snapping out of his trance Draco held his eye and said in astonishment,_

_"How the hell did you learn to punch so hard?" Hermione smirked briefly,_

_"Being best friends with Ron and Harry has its advantages." Her smirk faded and she looked at Ron lying on the floor,_

_"Conjure a stretcher; we need to get him to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey will sort him out."_

That had been only a week before Graduation when Dumbledore had announced to the Dream Team his decision to spy for the Order, and his main reasons. Needless to say Ron hadn't been too impressed; he'd been in the hospital wing for two days before Madame Pomfrey would let him go back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Voldemort wielded the poker with skill and precision and before Draco had time to flinch he pressed the magically heated iron rod onto his arm. 

Screaming Draco felt tears come to his eyes, he didn't want this, he wanted to be normal, he wanted to be good, he wanted to be loved, he wanted Voldemort dead, he wanted Voldemort dead, he wanted Voldemort dead.

He was dead inside, all his ambitions destroyed, like so many other Death Eaters he felt the world go dark, before he passed out a single thought passed through his mind with startling clarity.

_"Say goodnight don't be afraid calling me calling me as you fade to black."_

The End

A/N: Okay that's it. What do you think? Review and tell me please….

I think the death scene wasn't given as much description as I could…I tried though. 

Anyway, Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope the next year fulfills all your hopes and dreams.

Thanks

Athena Lionfire (16)


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